“So, a new online magazine, eh?”
“Apparently.”
“I think it looks pretty great myself. What do you make of
it?”
“Dunno.”
“Don’t you have anything to say about it?”
“…”
“What are you looking at?”
“Her.”
“Who?”
“Her, over there…..Joanne.”
“Ha! That’s not her real name you know?”
“It is. Oh, look at
her, she’s lovely. Such fantastic top...”
“Bollocks! OK, say her full name to me.”
“Why?”
“Just say it.”
“Joanne Kallott.”
“Yes, about 3 time a week. Hahaha!”
“…”
“Don’t you get it?”
“No.”
“Holy shit! Ok, ok. Do you know Mike Oxlong?”
“Yes.”
“How long is it then?”
“How long is what?”
“Jesus! It’s a made up name.”
“Jesus is?”
“No, well, that's still open to debate, but I’m
talking about Mike Oxlong.”
“He’s a real person and it’s a real name.”
“It’s not. Don’t you see it? My…cock’s…long.”
“I don’t particularly want to know about your cock, thank
you.”
“You really are a dimwit!”
“…”
“What’s wrong now?”
“I can’t remember her name.”
“Who?”
“That other woman who helps out. She’s foreign, I think.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Ah, that’s it.”
“What’s it?”
“I’ve remembered her name.”
“Well?”
“Sukma Balsak.”
“You what?”
“Yes, Sukma Balsak. That’s her name.”
“Oh, deary, deary me. You really are a twat.”
“Why?”
“BJ told you that’s her name, right?”
“Yes. After telling him what I’d like to do to Joanne, I
asked him who the other woman was and he said, ‘Sukma Balsak,’ and walked off.”
“Oh my God, you kill me.
Two more beers please, mate.”
Bio: David Barber's writing has appeared on the Internet in mags such as Thrillers, Killers 'n' Chillers, A Twist Of Noir, New Flesh and Blink Ink, to name a few. His stories have appeared and are to appear in anthologies. He is currently working on a novel and short story collection. He is the editor of The Flash Fiction Offensive and blogs at David Barber's Fiction World. The Two Blokes are inspired by boozy nights out and YOU!
